The traditional image we have of the husband during the delivery is that of a man smoking and pacing helplessly outside the delivery room while listening in anguish to his wife’s cries of pain. Nowadays however, more wives are asking for their husbands to be present in the delivery room, there are doctors who are receptive to the idea.
Dr. Mohamed Fares, consultant gynecologist,
Dr. Fares adds that couples who are well educated or have attended childbirth preparation classes are keener on having the husband attend the delivery and play an active role. These husbands are better prepared than others, have an idea of what will happen, and are more capable of handling the rush of emotions that childbirth pours on them.
Dr. Fares adds that couples who are well educated or have attended childbirth preparation classes are keener on having the husband attend the delivery and play an active role. These husbands are better prepared than others, have an idea of what will happen, and are more capable of handling the rush of emotions that childbirth pours on them.
According to Dr. Fares, the main advantage of the husband’s presence in the delivery room is the positive effect it has on the mother’s morale. Childbirth is a time when a woman feels helpless and scared, and could use all the help, strength and moral support that her husband can offer her.
Noha, a mother of two boys, chose to have an epidural for both of her cesarean sections. Her husband Aly was there to hold her hand and comfort her throughout both procedures.
“Of course he was sitting by my head, behind the screen and did not actually see anything that was happening, but still his presence was wonderful, and he held my hand all the time,” says Noha. Nevine, a mother of two boys, who is currently expecting her third child, says that she definitely wants her husband to attend the delivery. “He did not get to attend the previous two because he was traveling. This is the last chance I get to have him with me, and I want him to be with me,” she says.
On the other hand, Dr. Wagdy Samy, obstetrician and gynecologist, feels that in most cases the husband tends to be an obstacle during the delivery. He adds that some men faint the moment they see extreme pain or blood. Dr. Samy explains that doctors end up having to worry about the father who has fainted on the floor and whether or not he has been injured, rather than concentrating on the mother who is delivering the baby.
Dr. Samy agrees that sometimes the presence of the husband may be beneficial; however, he would only allow this if the couple attends a childbirth preparation class together so the husband knows what to expect.
Another problem with having the husband in the delivery room is the notion that if he attends the delivery, he may lose sexual interest in his wife. Dr. Samy explains that it is possible that the husband may blame himself and the sexual act for the pain his wife is going through, or that he may become turned off by seeing her body exposed in the way that it is. However, he adds that these are extremely rare cases. While Dr. Fares also believes that sexually disinterest is possible, he has never encountered this problem with any of his patients.
Dr. Samy suggests a middle ground to his patients: the husband may attend the delivery, but should remain near the mother’s head, holding her hand and supporting her when she needs it. The husband should not be allowed to move around and see what is happening; his role should be limited to that of comforting presence.
Although an increasing number of women want their husbands to attend the delivery, consideration should always be given to the husband’s ability to withstand it. The important thing is not to be upset with your husband if he can’t attend. After all, he won’t be much help if he faints! What you can do is prepare for the big day together, giving you both a chance to enjoy this wonderful life-changing experience.
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